Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Why yes, I AM naked! Thank you!

So a couple weeks ago I mentioned in my notices that I would be performing naked at the Lamb, largely to see if anyone was reading them.  A few new people came - but that is not what this post is about.  This post is about why I was 40 minutes late onto the stage.  Because you know, that of all nights, something bizarre was bound to happen...

It started with the Dr's appointment I had that morning.  Since the performance wasn't until 8pm my time I wasn't concerned.  I have made it home in ample time for performances before.  Just not this time.  In fact, everything that could go wrong went wrong, until I ended up walking into the house at 7.30pm.  On a good note, I was well rehearsed as I keep a warm up and rehearsal CD in my car.  Even so, I seriously considered moving the performance an hour later, however due to the naked tag I couldn't.  Instead, I moved my dressing room onstage and attempted to speed-sync.

Of course, this would be the night there was an issue with that, and by the time I addressed the syncing issue it was 15 minutes past my performance time.  I attempted to chat with peeps to keep them there.

One of the reasons I was late is that the local post office lost my new headphones.  I had to drive across town, twice, to track them down in person, as no one wanted to take responsibility.  As mentioned previously, the headphones I was using gave me tiny electric shocks until they finally short-circuited otherwise I would have just used them again.  The new ones were supposedly designed for my purpose and reputed to work great.  At 30 min I finally got them to work, and all seemed well. 

I realized that I wasn't naked.  In fact I had forgotten all about that, so I attempted to speed-find the outfit I wanted in my inventory - 'cuz I sure as hell wasn't going to be actually naked.   No way.  With all the agility of an ambling moose, I found the full body snow tattoo I got during my winter hunts.  I also found a snow bikini bottom and two oversized snow pasties.  I was ready!

No I wasn't.  I forgot to load the stream.  NOW I was ready!  At 40 minutes after the hour.  At this point I was bluntly begging people to stay.

The only way to address this kind of situation is to stride out of the dressing room mic in hand, singing.  Looking confident.  I think I managed, too - until I realized that I couldn't hear a damn thing.  My music was up, but I could barely hear a note of it.  It was the lovely new headphones that caused all these problems in the first place!  I was almost completely deaf!  After totally butchering the first song, I juggled the set onto one that I have memorized and could hopefully perform without the benefit of musical cues, and I think I did okay.  I honestly have no way of knowing as I forgot to record it in all the discombobulation.  The rest of the set I did that way, with oldies but goodies, shining in my metallic shoes and snow bikini.

I wouldn't call it a success, but I would say it was definitely a learning experience.  I will not be doing the naked thing again though.  It just isn't my style.  Since I am blaming this entire debacle on nervousness due to a pixellated representation of myself appearing in less than the accustomed amount of clothing, I will assume it's not anyone else's either!

Good grief.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Always Strike While The Iron's Hot

My inspirational buddies at L3ash recently opened a new truly unique and well-designed main store!  I mean that - it was airy, open and easy to navigate while having fantastic designer touches.  I was truly impressed - though let's be honest, not surprised.

It's closing now.  They have moved to xstreet.  Though probably a sound fiscal decision, it's really sad that the down economy has to be exacerbated in SL by the over-abundance of hunts.  Now, as we all know I am an avid hunter.  I love the hunt - especially the Twisted Hunt - far and away the tippy top of the line in SL hunting - but even I know it's gotten a little ridiculous.  Personally, if there is a way to spend $, even $L, I will find it - yet many stores have taken themselves completely out of the game by either giving away complete shit or giving away everything I would ever want from them.  This hurts everybody, not just those stores!

Who is the SL President?  We need economic reform!  In the meantime, SHOP L3ASH!!!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Tip Jar From Hell

Ok, as my niche becomes more apparent (and my distractability more painfully obvious) I realized that I needed a new tip jar - one with specific features.  I mentioned this one night after a show and thus begins our journey through Tip Jar Hell.

A friend of a friend decided to jump in and create one.  This was fabulous except she never listened to my instruction.  As the hours wore on, I realized my situation was becoming more and more dicey.  I didn't want to cause trouble with my friend...however, telling her friend that I wasn't happy with her work would have surely done so.  After all, she was just helping me out.  Perhaps I could learn how to build and fix it?  So at the end of the night I sent a written note card to this individual specifying the changes that I would need (and had been asking for from the beginning) when I picked up the adjusted tip jar the next day.

The next day I got the expected IM offering me a TP to pick up the jar.  When I tried to land, this person's (name available upon request, because I'm like that), security kicked me out - twice.  She finally turned it off to let me land.  In her SL yard.  Where she rezzed the same, non-updated tip jar and asked for $1900L! (!!!!)

I tried to ask why she didn't make any changes but all she would say is that she was busy and I could take it or leave it.  I told her I could wait for the requested changes but she said she didn't have the files anymore, and that she could have made the changes last night but not today, so no changes would happen. (???!!)

I absolutely love our mutual friend so I just bought it and said nothing more - opting (as I often do) for the nobless oblige end of the Leo astrological sign - even as she simultaneously turned her security back on and kicked me off her parcel.

The tip jar was such a mess I couldn't figure out how to alter it and after struggling for several days, I broke down and IM'd my online friends for help.  Like a miracle, a wonderful girl we'll call "Master" appeared and, after ripping it apart for several hours, SL ate it! 

Eh - it turns out that helped since we just did a better one from scratch anyway.  The only thing we didn't have were the scripts.  So I IM'd the original creator.  The response I got was a heartwarming "Sorry, you paid and the transaction is complete. I won't work on it any more.  Good luck."  That's verbatim, by the way, I saved the response (name still available upon request)!

Let me interject that this is one of the reasons I have insisted my tip jar give out a "Style Card" that will list the creators of everything I wear/have onstage - including the tip jar - for the simple reason that most SL creators work extremely hard and bend over backwards to help their buyers.  This token of advertising is the least I can do to pay them back for their efforts above and beyond.  KISSES TO YOU ALL!  MUAH!

Anyway,  you know it's not over yet.  Oh, no.  Master got the scripts from a friend and we worked like dogs on the Tip Monster for a day and a half.  I report to you now that she is a genius and it's gorgeous. I have to tell you here, because I don't have it.  Why?  Well, that's where the rest of the story comes in.

See, Master and I used the office of her script doner to tuck them in at the end.  We were only one script short when RL called her away.  We planned to meet the next day to finish up.

Unfortunately, she never came back.  Her friend remodeled and doesn't recall seeing it.   I never got a copy.

So where it my Tip Monster?  God only knows.  The best advice I can offer is shop around.  Find one you want - there are many many creators, legitimate ones that are happy to create custom work for $500L.  I'll post the links here when I get my Tip Monster back.  Just have the stats on a notecard before you say a word, even if you are just spit balling in a casual setting, and don't part with a dime until you are happy.  

And the original friend I didn't want to offend?  I haven't seen her since.  I should have just given her the $1900L.

Great low lag tip jars from $50L and customization:  Blake Studios Tipjars

Thursday, February 4, 2010

I can't believe they have the fish!

Those damned fish!  In primary colors, swimming in a white world.  Watching the mouse....eating the food.  Whenever I see them I have to stop and play with them.  It's hypnotic.  I can't help it.  Pretty, translucent, realistically moving fish!

I'm not sure what that says about me.

When I saw that app I knew I would have to put it in at right.  I was both thrilled and apprehensive.  Sure enough, I keep playing and staring....playing and staring....ugh!!!!

Is there an FA?

The Coolest Jacket!

I just bought this amazing jacket:


It looks even better on, if that's possible.  Of course I got the hair thing too.  Do ya notice how the name fits perfectly?  It's from the lovely Airedine at Adore & Abhor who managed to get me onto Plurk last night as well.  She is quite the creative one. If I didn't already sing torch songs, this would make me start.

I'm sure there is more to come here....

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

A Tale of Three Headphones

Once upon a time there was a vocalist.

She went through a whole lotta crap getting everything together to stream in Second Life, including getting her voice together,  and it looked like things were picking up.   The only problem was that one of her x-maids hid her really good headphones.   So she used her earbuds from the MP3 player until they sucked her hair and, ultimately, her head, under the chair during a performance.

Then she used the ear hook things that came with her CD player.  These worked except they gave her small electric shocks until one day they, too, died.

Relenting, and still unable to find the nice headphones that damn maid hid, she purchased what she was told would be perfectly acceptible headphones, from Ebay.  She had them sent to her house and waited expectantly.  The day they arrived the postman rang once as instructed in multiple notes surrounding the mailbox (he's remedial).  She gathered herself and went down the stairs....to find a postal slip.  Why?  We don't know.  The package wasn't signature required or anything.  She dutifully called the 800# as directed on the slip and had the package redirected back to her house where she spent the next day waiting expectantly, making multiple calls to the postal services 800# where they assured her that the package would be delivered that day.

No package arrived.

The following day (today) she made a compliant to the 800# as instructed and was told there were no guarantees as to where the package actually existed at this point, since the local post office (aka The Surlist Post Office From Hell) had totally ignored all communication.  She waited until 1.30pm before setting off (just in case) for the TSPOFH in hopes of retrieving it, triumphantly bringing it home after 3 annoying days.

They fit securely and looked solid enough, but sadly muffle all sound, including her music and voice.  Back to Ebay she went with the intention of buying the $5 pro DJ set from China.  What is there to lose now, right?  But before she did that, as luck would have it, a better pair was in the final seconds and she scooped them up.

Story to follow?  I bet there will be!

Best IM bleed EVER!

IM Bleed:  when you think you are chatting with one person and you accidentally type into the wrong screen.

[18:51]  Mr. X: Thank you for that too.
[18:51]  Mr. X: We can just use the bed if you'd like until we figure it out.
[18:52]  Mr. X: oops wrong wondow
[18:54]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: no!  really! I'm enjoying it.