The Wonder of Domino's

I had this conversation, then I thought it was funny enough to re-post:

[22:37:03]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: Hello Gorgeous!
[22:37:25]  chryblnd Scribe: heya :-)
[22:37:56]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: You may be asking yourself "self?  Does [insert RL name here] sound like she's had a partial lobotomy to achieve a 180 degree attitude change from earlier?"
[22:38:18]  chryblnd Scribe: lol
[22:38:23]  chryblnd Scribe: I may soon, at any rate
[22:40:06]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: the answer would be YES!  which accounts for the persistent use of my real name today.
[22:40:31]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: It started with the pizza.....instead of 2 crispy crusts I got one deep dish
[22:41:10]  chryblnd Scribe: \o/ pizza!
[22:41:46]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: But OH NO its doesn't stop there!  NOnonononoono....because we all know what I get when I order pizza.....
[22:41:56]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: DEEP CHOCOLATE LAVA CAKES!!!!!!
[22:42:14]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: I believe you were present when I discussed this ritual previously?
[22:43:00]  chryblnd Scribe: ummm ... Ima go with "no"
[22:44:39]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: no WAY!  I swear you were...ok, they arrive:
[22:44:54]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: two toasty mounds of crispy yet chewy deep chocolate cake
[22:45:19]  chryblnd Scribe: I'm aware of their charms
[22:45:21]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: oh!  good for you! ...stuffed with warm, melted yet not runny deep dark chocolate that explodes in your mouth when you bite down
[22:47:24]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: ...when I get them I place them somewhere they can stay warm and out of harms way while I eat my pizza.  ...When I am 3/4 full THEN AND ONLY THEN I will open the box, releasing the heat and enjoying their full 5 sensory experience

[22:47:51]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: there is lots of gumming and moaning as I take my time
[22:48:05]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: its a little ritualistic
[22:48:28]  chryblnd Scribe: bahahahaha
[22:48:35]  chryblnd Scribe: I am the same with hotcakes at McDonalds lol
[22:48:36]  chryblnd Scribe: you're so awesome
[22:48:50]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: BWAHAHAHAHA!  ...to top things off I ordered a whole 2 liters of diet coke (they don't have pepsi)
[22:49:24]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: only - and this is ground shaking - they sent CHERRY cola instead!  It threw off my whole ritual!
[22:49:33]  chryblnd Scribe: oh no!
[22:49:38]  chryblnd Scribe: so now you;re a little mad?
[22:49:41]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: no!
[22:49:46]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: quite the the contrary!
[22:50:02]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: get this, because it's not the cola that's ground shaking.
[22:50:15]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: for the last week Dita has laid low.  Literally.  She wont get out of bed.
[22:50:28]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: the new cola arrived and I bounced downstairs.
[22:50:44]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: ...did the exchange and bounced upstairs, in about the time it took to type that
[22:51:10]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: There were 3 boxes on the floor (for what they charge I get the 2 pizza deal and leave one for tomorrow)
[22:51:42]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: I was 1/2 way across the room when I saw Dita with a box...not just ANY box!  She had....
[22:51:47]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: THE LAVA CAKES!!!!
[22:51:53]  chryblnd Scribe: oh
[22:51:55]  chryblnd Scribe: no
[22:52:09]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: I thought she couldn't have opened it that fast BUT I WAS WRONG!
[22:52:36]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: As I saw her lift her dripping-with-chocolate snout, I sprang to action and yelled NO and launched myself.  Imagine a football player flying toward the end zone in so-mo
[22:53:00]  chryblnd Scribe: bahahaha
[22:53:22]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: ...uncharacteristically sluggish, she took 2 steps back, dropping the bulk of her quarry to the ground where she proceeded to lick it to death and then suck on the carpet
[22:53:32]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: 2 things struck me.
[22:53:43]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: 1.  how the hell did she know WHICH box?
[22:53:59]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: 2.  She loves pizza - and she passed up those, easier, boxes?
[22:54:42]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: 3.  We for sure share the same tastes - because Dita then proceeded to beg with a desperation not previously observed by humankind
[22:54:55]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: she wiggled
[22:54:59]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: she bounced
[22:55:07]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: she gave the "soulful stare"
[22:55:29]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: she tried to pull my hands down with her 11 pounds of skunk booty
[22:55:39]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: the nibbled
[22:55:42]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: she kissed
[22:55:53]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: she scent marked everything that didn't move
[22:56:00]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: then she started over again
[22:56:06]  chryblnd Scribe: hahahahaha
[22:56:26]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: I had to call Dad, who laughed over the phone
[22:56:38]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: finally I stopped hyperventilating and caved with a pat
[22:56:46]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: but HELL NO, no lava cakes
[22:56:49]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: sorry!
[22:56:51]  chryblnd Scribe: see, now you know
[22:56:56]  chryblnd Scribe: more chocolate
[22:57:01]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: no shit!
[22:57:05]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: wtf?
[22:57:16]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: anyway, I am always feeling better after those things
[22:57:21]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: :D
[22:57:27]  chryblnd Scribe: lol
[22:57:57]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: this is the no-hormone week on my pill. so I'm uber-emotional I think.  I am also going off the pill, so the next few weeks should see a lot of lava cakes in here
[22:58:17]  chryblnd Scribe: ohhhhh jesus
[22:58:22]  chryblnd Scribe braces
[22:59:07]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: I know
[22:59:10]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: I warned my dad
[22:59:21]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: IMPENDING HYSTERIA!!!!
[22:59:34]  chryblnd Scribe laughs
[22:59:57]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: oh sure, laugh now - just be prepared.
[23:00:02]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: I'm gonna act like a girl
[23:00:06]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: I hate that
[23:01:29]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: I've decided to sing Madonna.  I'm watching Glee for the first time, it's the madonna ep and I'm singing and dancing around
[23:03:11]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: just the good ones - express yourself
[23:03:38]  chryblnd Scribe: I like Madonna
[23:03:42]  chryblnd Scribe: never seen Glee though
[23:04:41]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: I have heard that it MY program, and I have to agree
[23:04:54]  Phoenix Gerhadsen: season 1 comes out this week, hope it's on instant-view

...and hope Domino's doesn't run out of Lava cakes....