PSA: Beware the Crazy Weasel!

At various times in my life I've been bullied.  Whether RL or online it's always by the same people, and they always say and do the same things.  Usually it involves tagging with some derivative of "crazy" (or, in the deep south, "gay" which probably meant the same thing up in there) and wolf pack behavior. Too many of my friends are going through this, its time to stand on my table again.

I am so tired of boring crazy people calling us crazy.  Do they not realize how crazy they sound?  This isn't an "it takes one to know one" situation, this is an "Alcoholics Anonymous" situation.

What I mean is, I have escorted many of my friends to AA, because I do that.  What I have noticed without fail is that once there I am the subject of mass inquiry.

"Do you drink?"
"Well then you have a problem too."

No matter what I say, I have a problem too.  To an alcoholic everyone has a problem, apparently.  The difference with tedious crazy people, I think, is that they won't admit they are alcoholics.  Even when they are "just sitting around, reading 'Guns and Ammo,' masturbating in [their] own feces" as David Mills so delightfully put it.  I don't think they ever "just stop and go, "Wow! It is amazing how fucking crazy I really am!" They just point those icky fingers and say "It's you!"

( Halfway through writing this I realized I was singing "Let's Go Fly A Kite" and really enjoying it.  I don't know what that means but it seems relevant.  I suggest you do the same for this post's musical interlude.)

Thankfully this kind of garden variety crazy weasel is easy to spot once you know what to look for.  They are cowards that hide behind their computers with no understanding of respect or boundaries. They flourish in SL, for instance (but are known as "haters" elsewhere).  They travel in packs and are incapable of functioning alone.  Basically they are everything you aren't and they hate you for it...but first they will love you so very much - too much, too fast - trying to worm their way in and find a way to break this exciting, new butterfly's wings.  They can't have you change the status-quo or make them look bland standing next to you in their vacuum.  Note that they only attempt to desiccate the best and the brightest they think they can get their hands on (...so if they are descending on you, smile). Sadly, like most lunatics, they can seem wildly creative.  Unfortunately its just not worth it to find out.

It is startling and painful the first time or two a normal, healthy person encounters the Crazy Weasel. Frankly we just aren't prepared for their illogical and vitriolic teacup tempests.  After that its handy to learn how to derender/delete in milliseconds.  Personally, it took longer than I like to admit to learn that I am not a butterfly, I'm a Phoenix and these aren't wings, they are jets of flame.

I'm like Kid Curry now.  I can eradicate a peanut from my world before you can say psyc--

..

URGENT PSA: DON'T SHOP AT MICHIGAN SHACK!

I suspected, at first, that to name one's clothing/furniture store like a greasy spoon could indicate questionable intellect.  Having shopped there, I can say confidently that the owners are as inviting as Detroit.

If you've ever gone on an SL hunt you have praised the awesome Maleficent Benoir, who painstakingly  provides detailed hint information on her blog for each and every hunt. Her work has rewarded thousands of people and kept many sane.  Well, she was banned from Michigan Shack too - for giving hunt hints.  She was never addressed, simply banned. As she posted, she would have been happy to leave out the hint out had they actually spoken to her. Unfortunately these two idiots feel as entitled as a couple of high school cheerleaders on crack.

I was banned yesterday for trying to make them honor their 60L Weekend ad.  It took forever to find the item - on another floor from the sign (against the rules) - and once I did there were several variations.  The 60L deal was unmarked (against the rules).  I ended up paying 60L for each set (the lounge and the bed) when the add offered them both together for 60L total.  Immediately after I paid,  I looked up and saw them both listed together for 60L (I thought this was just a picture but it was actually the vendor).  Not only did these bitches refuse to adjust my payment, they refused to acknowledge their own inventory, or the ad.  Nice, huh?

For a change I dropped my usual professional demeanor and cussed them out.  Both of them.  Then I muted them.  It felt good, but it would have felt better to get the price adjustment and avoid the hassle.

So seriously, don't shop there.  There are so many other sellers that are actually pleasant and happy to provide superior items that there is no reason to roll the dice on these two losers.

I took one for the team on this one, make it worth something!

In Summary -
Please, by all means, DO shop at:
Sharkie's
Silk Dreams
Lunas Boutique
Eccentric
Jazmyn D
Mischief
Badoura
A&A
MPD
[L3ash] when it re-opens
aw, heck!  I'm giving this it's own post...


Do NOT shop at:
Royal Blue
Sweet Dreams
Barbie Bitch
Michigan Shack
[Plastik]

No Merci

Even more learning experiences!

As you know, my final tip jar (designed by ME!) has the "Styled By" button that gives the name and lm to the store of everyone that provides my on-stage look.  I am so damn picky that the designers managing to satisfy me deserve at least that pat on the back, and I'm happy to give it.

Almost all my friends are designers or performers - or performers that design.  Most have given me something that I want to wear onstage. 

Now, one of these friends has been with me since the beginning of my career and vice -versa - we have both helped each other every way possible.  This is just to be nice and because we're friends. 

I agreed to a weekly performance for her, for free, at a garden she created for this reason - even though  at this point I am actually cutting my tips-only gigs.  Once I decided to sing for her, I wanted to talk to her about boundaries and how she wanted me to present her, but she never had time.

Not to worry, I went on with my show, emphasizing her Look Book (that I distributed at all shows to be nice), and my Styled By card,  with no word from her one way or the other about my act as I continued.  Until last week.

Last week a friend (and designer) decided to drop by my show.  I said "Hello!"  mentioned that she also designed and happened to be on my style card, then proceeded with the usual promotion.

My "friend" chose that moment, in the middle of my show, to finally comment on my performance.  She flamed me via IMs.  She was irate that I promoted another designer in her store.  I, in turn, was thrilled to find I am now able to perform through anything!
 
Of course, if she felt this way perhaps she should have decided that I not use my style cards at all during her shows.  Or let me talk to her about my ideas regarding promoting her.  Or spoken to me with the respect that a good friend - a good friend that promoted her at all gigs as a favor - would deserve.

In any case, let this be a valuable lesson to you.  When performing for a store, make the owner sit down,  listen to the details of your set and approve it in writing.  Though I never crossed a line and truly promoted another person, I did venture into a gray area that could have been avoided with clear (or any) communication.  Don't fall into this trap - this is great advice in SL and RL as well.

Another piece of great advice for SL and RL:  when people complain about their friends always letting them down or something like that, there is usually a reason for this attitude - and it isn't their friends!  This particular person has praised me in dark times as one of the few people that never asks her for anything and is a true friend to her.  Danger!  Danger!

In this case I was outgrowing her tutelage and trying to find a way to free up my groups and time.  I just would not have chosen to end it this way or at all.

This has been your PSA for this week!  Go and play on!

Why yes, I AM naked! Thank you!

So a couple weeks ago I mentioned in my notices that I would be performing naked at the Lamb, largely to see if anyone was reading them.  A few new people came - but that is not what this post is about.  This post is about why I was 40 minutes late onto the stage.  Because you know, that of all nights, something bizarre was bound to happen...

It started with the Dr's appointment I had that morning.  Since the performance wasn't until 8pm my time I wasn't concerned.  I have made it home in ample time for performances before.  Just not this time.  In fact, everything that could go wrong went wrong, until I ended up walking into the house at 7.30pm.  On a good note, I was well rehearsed as I keep a warm up and rehearsal CD in my car.  Even so, I seriously considered moving the performance an hour later, however due to the naked tag I couldn't.  Instead, I moved my dressing room onstage and attempted to speed-sync.

Of course, this would be the night there was an issue with that, and by the time I addressed the syncing issue it was 15 minutes past my performance time.  I attempted to chat with peeps to keep them there.

One of the reasons I was late is that the local post office lost my new headphones.  I had to drive across town, twice, to track them down in person, as no one wanted to take responsibility.  As mentioned previously, the headphones I was using gave me tiny electric shocks until they finally short-circuited otherwise I would have just used them again.  The new ones were supposedly designed for my purpose and reputed to work great.  At 30 min I finally got them to work, and all seemed well. 

I realized that I wasn't naked.  In fact I had forgotten all about that, so I attempted to speed-find the outfit I wanted in my inventory - 'cuz I sure as hell wasn't going to be actually naked.   No way.  With all the agility of an ambling moose, I found the full body snow tattoo I got during my winter hunts.  I also found a snow bikini bottom and two oversized snow pasties.  I was ready!

No I wasn't.  I forgot to load the stream.  NOW I was ready!  At 40 minutes after the hour.  At this point I was bluntly begging people to stay.

The only way to address this kind of situation is to stride out of the dressing room mic in hand, singing.  Looking confident.  I think I managed, too - until I realized that I couldn't hear a damn thing.  My music was up, but I could barely hear a note of it.  It was the lovely new headphones that caused all these problems in the first place!  I was almost completely deaf!  After totally butchering the first song, I juggled the set onto one that I have memorized and could hopefully perform without the benefit of musical cues, and I think I did okay.  I honestly have no way of knowing as I forgot to record it in all the discombobulation.  The rest of the set I did that way, with oldies but goodies, shining in my metallic shoes and snow bikini.

I wouldn't call it a success, but I would say it was definitely a learning experience.  I will not be doing the naked thing again though.  It just isn't my style.  Since I am blaming this entire debacle on nervousness due to a pixellated representation of myself appearing in less than the accustomed amount of clothing, I will assume it's not anyone else's either!

Good grief.

The Tip Jar From Hell

Ok, as my niche becomes more apparent (and my distractability more painfully obvious) I realized that I needed a new tip jar - one with specific features.  I mentioned this one night after a show and thus begins our journey through Tip Jar Hell.

A friend of a friend decided to jump in and create one.  This was fabulous except she never listened to my instruction.  As the hours wore on, I realized my situation was becoming more and more dicey.  I didn't want to cause trouble with my friend...however, telling her friend that I wasn't happy with her work would have surely done so.  After all, she was just helping me out.  Perhaps I could learn how to build and fix it?  So at the end of the night I sent a written note card to this individual specifying the changes that I would need (and had been asking for from the beginning) when I picked up the adjusted tip jar the next day.

The next day I got the expected IM offering me a TP to pick up the jar.  When I tried to land, this person's (name available upon request, because I'm like that), security kicked me out - twice.  She finally turned it off to let me land.  In her SL yard.  Where she rezzed the same, non-updated tip jar and asked for $1900L! (!!!!)

I tried to ask why she didn't make any changes but all she would say is that she was busy and I could take it or leave it.  I told her I could wait for the requested changes but she said she didn't have the files anymore, and that she could have made the changes last night but not today, so no changes would happen. (???!!)

I absolutely love our mutual friend so I just bought it and said nothing more - opting (as I often do) for the nobless oblige end of the Leo astrological sign - even as she simultaneously turned her security back on and kicked me off her parcel.

The tip jar was such a mess I couldn't figure out how to alter it and after struggling for several days, I broke down and IM'd my online friends for help.  Like a miracle, a wonderful girl we'll call "Master" appeared and, after ripping it apart for several hours, SL ate it! 

Eh - it turns out that helped since we just did a better one from scratch anyway.  The only thing we didn't have were the scripts.  So I IM'd the original creator.  The response I got was a heartwarming "Sorry, you paid and the transaction is complete. I won't work on it any more.  Good luck."  That's verbatim, by the way, I saved the response (name still available upon request)!

Let me interject that this is one of the reasons I have insisted my tip jar give out a "Style Card" that will list the creators of everything I wear/have onstage - including the tip jar - for the simple reason that most SL creators work extremely hard and bend over backwards to help their buyers.  This token of advertising is the least I can do to pay them back for their efforts above and beyond.  KISSES TO YOU ALL!  MUAH!

Anyway,  you know it's not over yet.  Oh, no.  Master got the scripts from a friend and we worked like dogs on the Tip Monster for a day and a half.  I report to you now that she is a genius and it's gorgeous. I have to tell you here, because I don't have it.  Why?  Well, that's where the rest of the story comes in.

See, Master and I used the office of her script doner to tuck them in at the end.  We were only one script short when RL called her away.  We planned to meet the next day to finish up.

Unfortunately, she never came back.  Her friend remodeled and doesn't recall seeing it.   I never got a copy.

So where it my Tip Monster?  God only knows.  The best advice I can offer is shop around.  Find one you want - there are many many creators, legitimate ones that are happy to create custom work for $500L.  I'll post the links here when I get my Tip Monster back.  Just have the stats on a notecard before you say a word, even if you are just spit balling in a casual setting, and don't part with a dime until you are happy.  

And the original friend I didn't want to offend?  I haven't seen her since.  I should have just given her the $1900L.

Great low lag tip jars from $50L and customization:  Blake Studios Tipjars

Yes, I got a new voice for 2010. Here's the scoop....

You all know how fond I am of new equipment, so...

Seriously, here's what happened:  I moved from Los Angeles to Ohio.  That's pretty much it.  We can blame Ohio for everything.  I frequently do.  In this case, I acquired a new flu-type virus that settles in the lungs and doesn't go away.  Everyone I know has it now, it makes you cough when you laugh.  I initially got it 4 years ago.  It's treated with asthma medication as your lungs start to fill with fluid and it's noisy.

It's common knowledge that I am kind of an idiot.  I forget things, like the warning I got 4 years ago to rinse my mouth out after I use my inhaler to avoid getting thrush (oral yeast).  This year I had to use the inhaler more than usual...and didn't make the connection when I developed raw spots in my mouth that wouldn't heal.  Or when my lungs got extremely bad and I started to have to use the inhaler daily.  Or when my allergy and sinus symptoms got debilitating and I developed migraines.  Or stomach cramps.  Or when it got hard to see (sort of a white filmy issue).

Now, a fun fact about yeast is that it feeds itself.  It thrives in sugar.  I'm a gluten-free vegetarian.  I'm hypoglycemic and plump (but since I've been strict vegetarian/celiac the fat is going away).  By the grace of God, I don't like sweets, and that one day a month I do it's Ding Dongs, Devil's Food Cake, Chocolate Pudding, Chocolate Ice Cream, Canoli and Petit Ecolier (sp?) crackers with bittersweet chocolate chunks on one side.  Sometimes I add peanut butter to those.  Predictable.  So all of a sudden I start craving nothing but sugar,  all the time.  I am eating multiple candy bars (yuck), bags of candy (double yuck), pretty much anything in the checkout lane.  I'm putting gobs of sugar in perfectly good cereal (ick). I gained 10 pounds.  By now I felt terrible on all levels.

All of this started to get out of control around November, when I started singing in SL.  I, being a total moron, credited my sudden inability to hit and sustain notes to nerves.  It was only when eating became ridiculously painful that I remembered that bit about thrush.

You know those photos they show you in health class of diseases that are totally out of control and you wonder how anyone let them go so long?  I finally achieved photo status!

OK, this is actually a picture of graphic tongue that I enhanced.  Graphic tongue, I learned, is a normal condition where the tongue looks as spotted as an Appaloosa.  I have graphic tongue, which is another reason I didn't spot the yeast.

As soon as I Googled, my tongue popped up!  Yea!  Off I went to the grocery store ( you never need to see the Dr about yeast).  All I can say in defense of my rampant and inexplicable stupidity here is that the infection started and built up so slowly that I just didn't notice.

After two days of treatment my tongue returned to normal size - it was about 3 times normal.  I don't know how I could talk - much less sing - at all.  My throat also shrunk (expanded? the tissues shrunk) back to normal, as did my nasal passages, etc. in time.  My lungs and eyes cleared up over the next two weeks.  I am still taking probiotics and other supplements to make sure it's completely gone from everywhere.

...and I got my voice back!  It's such a relief.  Of course, now I have to learn how to use it all over again, but I don't mind.

So let this be a warning to you kids!  Drink lots of water and write stuff down! And don't be afraid to come to my show - I swear it's much better now with the new voice!